


Goodbye in Her Eyes

by lexieluthor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Established Relationship, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 13:18:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14569845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexieluthor/pseuds/lexieluthor
Summary: Sam has made up her mind.She is going to leave National City.It was probably the hardest decision she has ever made in her entire life, but there’s no point in holding on to a broken rope, right?It wasn’t a decision that she made in a matter of days, either. It was a calculation of everything she has picked up since what seemingly started about one year ago.





	Goodbye in Her Eyes

It started with the smallest things in their mundane routine. She didn’t notice them at first, but as the old habits were beginning to be forgotten and replaced by new ones, she started to worry if there was more to it than Lena let her know.

They used to start their day with breakfast and a cup of coffee while reading the news from their tablets. Sam would cook some bacon and scrambled eggs, or served piles of pancakes and fresh fruits. They would talk over breakfast and went to work together. Now, Lena always seemed to be in a rush and took her coffee on the go, her breakfast untouched.

Sam used to come to L-Corp during lunch break from time to time. Their offices were just a couple of blocks away, so they usually bought some takeout from one of the places nearby. Now every time she called to ask about what she should bring to Lena’s office, Lena either said she already ate with Kara or that she was busy at CatCo, which was on the other side of the city.

Sam also picked up how Lena liked to spend more time on her phone now. She would stare at it and typed quickly while smiling or chuckling to herself. Sam never dared ask who she was talking to.

What came as a surprise for Sam was when she called Lena one night, asking her where she was. When she picked up, the sound of people laughing and yelling in the background pierced Sam’s ear. Lena then told her she was at a dive bar with Kara and her friends. Sam frowned at that. Not that she was surprised Lena still maintained some sort of social life, but a _dive bar_? Sam didn’t think Lena would even know what a dive bar meant before. Lena was never into that kind of crowd, and she always expressed her exhaustion every time she was expected to show up at an exclusive nightclub to meet up with potential investors.

That night, Lena came home looking super drunk and giggling like a school girl. It was such a rare sight, Sam couldn’t help but smile watching her girlfriend struggle to walk across the living room, then caught her in time before Lena fell down face first onto the floor.

“Hey baaaby,” Lena said, followed by another giggle.

“Hey, babe. I can’t remember the last time you were this drunk. Had a great time?”

“Sooo much fun!” Lena leaned her body into Sam for support, “Karaoke night! Kara… The girl can singgg,”

Sam helped her walk into the bedroom and take off her dress, a mixed scent of liquor and smoke hit Sam’s nose. Lena didn’t even bother to wait for Sam to dress her up into her silky PJs. She just threw herself on the bed and closed her eyes.

“We should do this again,” Lena mumbled in her slurred speech, “Good night, Kara,”

Sam paused in her track for a second, then slipped into bed next to her. That night, she lied awake until dawn with her back against Lena, a million plausible scenarios running in her head.

And then there was that time when Sam prepared an extravagant dinner to celebrate their anniversary. She planned everything to perfection; the place, the decoration, the music, and the menu filled with Lena’s favorite dishes to choose from. She booked the entire place for this occasion; she knew being around too many people could make Lena uncomfortable, and she’d rather that night to just be about the two of them with no interruptions.

It was Lena’s favorite rooftop restaurant that served Italian cuisine. The place was now accentuated with white and red, with trails of rose petals on the floor. She called Lena before lunch to make sure she made time for the night, and Lena agreed. So that night Sam took her time getting dolled up. She wore a maroon dress that she bought for the occasion, and let her hair down in styled waves.

She arrived just in time and did another check with the waiters one last time; made sure everything was in order.

She waited and waited for hours, her calls and texts unanswered.

The waiter came up to her several times, each time with a growing worried look on his face. He asked if she’d like to refill her glass of wine, if she’d like to eat something while waiting, and even offered her a coat of one of the employees to cover her exposed shoulders when the night was getting late.

After three hours of waiting, she decided Lena would never come.

She cried her eyes out on the way home. Her driver glanced at her through the rearview mirror and asked if she was okay. Sam could only smile and asked him to drive her home quickly.

Lena came home around midnight when Sam had already changed her clothes and curled up in bed. She kneeled next to her side of the bed and saw Sam’s puffy red eyes. She apologized so many times – saying she was busy covering some news at CatCo and forgot about the dinner. When Sam told her it was their anniversary, Lena seemed surprised and even more guilty that she didn’t remember. Lena had never missed their anniversary before.

One day, she confronted her about it. She just couldn’t help it anymore; the thoughts were killing her. She'd hate to be that kind of girlfriend who made assumptions and jumping to conclusions without asking her partner about it.

So on one Saturday night, when Lena wasn’t buried in a stack of papers with a laptop in front of her, Sam gathered up all the courage she could get and asked if there was anything going on between her and Kara.

There was a trail of surprise in Lena’s face before she masked it with a laugh, “What are you talking about? Me and Kara?”

It wasn’t the answer she was hoping for, so Sam waited.

“I- You know I’m her boss, right?” Lena continued, “Look, she was the first friend I made in this city, someone who sees me past my last name and… I mean I know I already have you, but it’s nice to have someone I know from work who isn’t either trying to take me down or belittle me and talk about me behind my back,”

Sam wanted to believe her. It made sense anyway. And Kara was a really nice person, from what she’d seen in several encounters they had a couple of months ago.

“Okay,” she replied. They didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night.

\---

On Christmas Eve, Lena told her that they were invited to the Danvers’ dinner party. Sam wasn’t all that excited to go, but Lena insisted that Kara and her sister Alex had been so kind to her and she’d feel bad if they refused to come. And so they went there with a bottle of fine wine as a gesture.

Sam spent the whole night trying to ignore the way Lena and Kara looked at each other. She hated herself for being like this. It took everything in her to put on a happy face and not be the killjoy when the group was playing Pictionary after dinner.

And yet Alex seemed to notice there was something going on. When the others were listening to J’onn’s story about his childhood, Sam excused herself to get some more wine and Alex approached her.

“Hey,” Alex smiled at her, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” she replied, “Why?”

“Uh, nothing. I just- You seem… kind of… detached,”

Sam smiled at her. She wasn’t sure if she should tell what she was feeling to Alex. She couldn’t tell her that she was jealous of her sister, right?

“I’m sorry,” Alex said out of nowhere.

“Hm? For what?”

Alex offered her another smile and gave her arm a little squeeze, then walked back to join the others.

\---

It felt like a long time ago since everything started. She didn’t know when exactly things had changed between them, but now she realized they barely had time together. The penthouse was now just a place for them to sleep, and not much else. In a way, Sam understood that Lena had her hands full with everything that was going on at work – with the launching of L-Corp’s latest inventions, the acquisition of CatCo Media, and the press conferences in between – Lena was barely catching up. And Sam herself was kept busy at her accounting firm, working until late at night.

They never had time to cuddle up and watch movies together anymore. Their weekly dinner date at a five-star hotel restaurant was long forgotten. Their Paris trip was rescheduled so many times, they gave up and decided to give it a go once everything had settled down.

But deep down Sam knew this wouldn’t end. There would always be work between them. What they needed to do was make time for each other, but it seemed neither of them was willing to. Sometimes she felt like Lena avoided her. They didn’t even have time to have sex anymore. When they were home, they would just be too tired, trying to squeeze in as many sleep hours as they could. She remembered the earlier days of their relationship where they couldn’t get enough of each other and wondered what went wrong between them.

When it happened to you, you just knew it. It’s not easy to explain to your circle of friends or family, but when the love of your life had fallen out of love with you, you’d know. You could see that she no longer looked at you the same way.

And so Sam decided that if Lena didn’t have the heart to end it, she would do it herself. It was probably the hardest and most painful thing she’d ever done to herself, because if it was up to her, she wouldn’t have ever wanted to leave Lena. She would have always wanted to wake up next to her, tell her how her days went, go through the ups and downs of her life with Lena by her side.

But now it didn’t matter anymore. What Sam wanted meant nothing when Lena no longer wanted the same things. Sam didn’t want to stay in a relationship knowing that her partner had no longer loved her.

“Sam…” what came out of Lena’s mouth was nothing more than a whisper, but the room was so silent Sam could hear it crystal clear.

Sam stopped what she was doing but didn’t look up. She expected more, and when she didn’t hear anything else coming out of Lena’s mouth, she continued packing up the remaining of her stuff.

“Sam,” this time Lena walked towards her close enough that she could reach out and touch her arm, “I’m so sorry,”

The touch was so light and unsure, as if Lena thought putting more pressure on it would break Sam.

She finally looked up. This time, Sam looked straight into Lena’s eyes, hoping they’re not betraying the tough exterior she was trying so hard to keep.

“You don’t have to do this,” Lena whispered, “Please, stay here. I’ll move out. I can buy another penthouse elsewhere. This has been your home for six years,”

Six years. Six years of everything they’ve been through together. Six years of memories, etched into every part of this penthouse. _Why would I want that? Why would I need little reminders of you scattered around this place to keep me from moving on?_

“No. I have to,” was what Sam ended up saying. She didn’t want to tell Lena the reason why. It’s better to shield her feelings up and keep it inside a box where nobody, not even Lena, could access.

She gave Lena a weak, reassuring smile. That was all she could do for now. She then zipped up her large suitcase and pulled it towards the living room, then fetched her phone to call her driver, who was waiting downstairs to come get the two boxes of her stuff. Lena trailed behind her.

Finished with the call, she slipped her phone back into her jeans pocket. She wasn’t sure what she had to do while waiting for the driver, so she chose to lean into the back of the sofa and stood still.

It was Lena who broke the silence.

“Sam… You know I never meant to hurt you. I never would have wanted to hurt you,”

Sam watched as Lena slowly stepped in front of her.

“And I know how silly that sounds, seeing the condition we’re in right now. But I honestly can’t say it any other way. I can’t even explain why I, um, feel… what I feel. And you can believe me or not, but I still care about you. I will always do. What we have… had… was special, and real, and you will always have a place in my heart,”

Sam could feel tears beginning to pool in her eyes. _If I was so special to you then how can you be in love with someone else, Lena?!_

“I just- I want you to know that you are a brilliant, strong, amazing woman and you deserve someone who loves you the way that you deserve. I’m… I’m sorry I’m not that person,”

That was it. Hearing Lena say those words made her realize that this really was the end for them. As tears began falling down her cheeks, she looked down and fixated her stare on something – _nothing_ – on the floor. Keeping the eye contact for any longer would break her defense entirely.

Lena sensed the shift and took one step closer. She rested her hands on Sam’s cheeks, and slowly leaned forward until their foreheads touched.

“And thank you,” her voice quivered, “For everything,”

Lena inched closer, her lips now almost brushing Sam’s. She didn’t have time to react before they heard knocking on the front door. Both of them pulled away out of reflex.

Sam straightened up and moved towards the door, letting her driver in. When he had left the room with the boxes, Sam pulled her suitcase ready to leave.

She turned towards Lena one last time, “Goodbye, Lena,”

The door was closed behind her, leaving Lena frozen in her place.


End file.
